Spoiling baby

I promised the story, here it is. My husband and I decided to take our small family (consisting of our then six month old baby girl, K) to his parents, where we attended a local fall fair.

Nana had big plans for the day, and one of these plans was to buy K her own stick of cotton candy. A whole cotton candy to herself. My husband, bless his heart, told her no, but Nana was insistent. I had absolutely no knowledge there was anything of the like going on, as this was my first break from my baby that day, and I was enjoying the fair. I gather my husband prevailed, as my darling girl was not enjoined by a sticky paper coin to her stroller.

I have my own weakness, being a need for caramel apples. I don’t just nibble the caramel off the apple, if the apple is fresh and crunchy, caramel and apples are a natural together. I eat the whole thing, there is little left after. That fair, by the way, had the best caramel apples I’d seen in a long time. So I bought one. And ate it.

By this time, I’d met up with the rest of the group (I was hanging out with my small brothers and sister in law-Hubby was the eldest in the family, the rest of the family was quite young then) having just finished the apple, and had a little of the core and mere traces of caramel on it. K had a great day with Nana, Papa and Dad, but was anxious to see Mom (hunger being chief among her motives), and so clamoured to sit with Mom.

I pulled her out of the stroller, and offered her the stick from the caramel apple while I got myself ready to feed her. Nana looks at this and asks me “Is she allowed to have that?” I must have looked at her quite oddly, as I had no idea that K had been denied cotton candy earlier in the day, but I said… “Uhmmm. yeah?”

Hubby told me on the way home what had happened. Poor Nana, she must have thought I was going to be in such trouble!

Posted on August 4th, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: grandparents, spoiling babies | No Comments »

Sleep, I must SLEEP!

There is absolutely nothing more frustrating.  Whether you are pregnant or you just had a baby, you feel proud and excited.  So why aren’t you feeling so happy?

Stress.  You’ve had family and company at your home since you’ve delivered.  If you are a first time mother, the hospitals don’t give you much help or advice, and they sent you home with a small human being that can’t tell you whether it’s hungry, tired, dirty, wet or violently ill!  Add to that, they don’t sleep for long at a stretch.

And the hormonal changes that have taken place!  You’ve changed from a pregnant person to a nursing mother!  Even if you don’t choose to nurse, your breasts don’t know that yet.  You likely think you’ll never get a good nights sleep until your child goes to college.  It’s not quite that bad.  But you do need to settle in with everything new and get a handle on it.

There are ways to cope with everything, and you’ll get some rest that you need

First, nobody’s perfect but Mary Poppins, and she’s only practically perfect, so you don’t need to be either.  When the baby naps, so do you.  Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting can all go hang for a bit.  You can have a perfect home later, Mothering is the most important thing you can do in your life, so take the time to do that.

Have a good friend or relative help out once in a while.  Grandma will likely jump on the opportunity to have a baby to spoil for a few hours.  I know my MIL did, and often (My husband once had to tell her in no uncertain terms that a six month old baby did NOT need cotton candy–Funny story, I’ll tell it later).

When the baby does go to bed for the night, take the time and make it me time.  A lovely warm bath with lavender, soft music, candles, maybe even a glass of wine.

Posted on August 4th, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: sleep | No Comments »

Breastfeeding necessities

You’ll find in your pregnancy that your breasts are a little bigger (this may be an understatement, of course) than they were before.  This is an excellent time to pick up some good nursing bras (the kind where the cup can unfasten from the bra to allow the nursing baby access to the nipple) as you likely want something to accomodate your new bigger breasts.

Also, you’ll want a good comfortable chair with arms at a good height.  You’ll be in this chair for hours every day, so be certain it’s comfortable.  Look for a chair with good back and shoulder support too.  It’s completely up to you if you want a rocking chair, or a glider, either of which I completely recommend.  The motion is very comforting for the baby.  A footstool, or a low coffee table (if you allow feet on it, that is) so you are able to elevate your feet when you are breastfeeding is also important.  Raising your legs and feet help to support your baby to your breast, and you’ll avoid a possible backache.

Pillows.  You don’t know how important these are.  Pillows will give you a multitude of positions to hold your baby while he nurses, and you can place them to give you support while he does.  Your options are as limitless as the number of pillows.  You can lay the baby on a pillow on your lap so he’s at the right height to nurse without having to crook your arm just so for what might seem like an hour(if he falls asleep, or you do, it might be an hour.)  Pillows can support your shoulder, neck, arms, feet, back…you get the picture.

A table within arms reach is important.  A beverage of your choice can be readily available while you nurse your infant.  Necessary nursing supplies should also be readily at hand, such as a soothing ointment that is safe for nursing infants, a spitup or receiving blanket, a magazine, puzzle book, snacks, telephone, a soother, a radio, the remote for the tv… whatever your heart desires.

Posted on August 3rd, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: breastfeeding | No Comments »

Planning to breastfeed?

The moment when the nurse hands you your baby for the first time is an emotionally charged one. I recall clearly laughing and crying at the same time, yet so fearful of the responsibilities ahead. That is the perfect moment to hold your infant’s lips to your breast. You haven’t produced milk yet, but the baby benefits from the substance called colostrum that your breasts are producing. Colostrum helps protect your baby from infections.

Your baby may have trouble at first finding or staying on your nipple, but don’t panic. Neither of you are experts at this at first, but once you both get the hang of it, you’ll both reap the benefits. If he has trouble latching on to your nipple, ask a sympathetic person, whether that person is a nurse or the midwife, or mother, mother-in-law, sister, whomever has experience and will help.

Nursing your infant shouldn’t be painful. There are certain precautions you should take, starting even during your pregnancy. Most soaps are drying, and that is the last thing your need on your nipples. During my pregnancy, I avoided getting soap on my nipples, and cleaned them softly with a wet washcloth. While breastfeeding, use a gentle ointment designed for nursing mothers for your nipples to ease dryness and prevent cracks on your nipples.

When your baby latches on, note how your breasts feel. If it hurts, break the suction with your finger, and try again.

Don’t hold your baby to a strict schedule. This may work with bottle fed babies, but it doesn’t work for nursing babies. Nursing often will encourage your mature milk to come in and lots of it. Breastfeeding for about ten to fifteen minutes per breast eight to ten times in 24 hours is perfect. Don’t wait for your baby to cry, as that is a sign of hunger (you rarely allow yourself to become so hungry that you want to cry, you’d not do that to another human being.) The baby crying makes you and him tense, which makes nursing more difficult. You may have to wake your baby to breast feed him, and that may seem to fly into the face of conventional wisdom to never wake a sleeping baby. Your breasts will guide you here, they will tell you when you need to breast feed your baby. Don’t worry if the baby should fall asleep while feeding, this is normal. Even adults will fall asleep after a satisfying meal. It’s a compliment to you and your abilities as a good mother that the baby sleeps after you fed him so well.

Posted on August 2nd, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: breastfeeding | No Comments »

Breastfeeding. Why Should You?

The reasons to breastfeed are numerous. It’s the first food specifically designed for infant’s first needs, containing easily over 200 compounds that fight infection, help the immune system mature, aid digestion, and support brain growth. Science can try, but it cannot exactly duplicate what a nursing mother does naturally. Breastfeeding also may reduce the risk of asthma, allergies, obesity, and some childhood cancers.

Breast milk doesn’t only help ensure a healthier baby, it may also make him a smarter baby. Some studies show that breast fed babies tend to be smarter than their bottle fed counterparts.

Many babies will also have problems dealing with milk replacements, forcing already anxious parents to make trip after trip to the pediatrician to change feeding strategies. The baby that is sensitive to breast milk is rare indeed, and then it commonly has more to do with something mom has eaten, which is quickly altered.

If there is a history of allergies in the family, Mom will also pass on antibodies in her milk to the baby, helping protect against allergies and some illness. As the baby’s system matures, he begins to produce his own antibodies, providing a seamless system of protection against most food sensitivities.

Suckling on the breast also aids in jaw alignment and cheekbone development. This can make for a nicely shaped mouth and jaw, thus preventing the need for costly orthodontic work when the child is older.

Mom’s also benefit as the hormones released during breastfeeding will help curb blood loss post delivery and help the uterus return to its prepregnant size. Also, Mom will have a lower risk of premenopausal breast cancer (kind of like a use-it-or-lose-it kind of idea).

And this is not even pointing out the patently obvious fact that breast milk is always ready, it’s the right temperature, and it provides a chance to bond with your infant that is second to none. And, free.

Posted on June 1st, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: breastfeeding | No Comments »

Blood Pressure and your Child.

Small children, even babies can develop high blood pressure.  This isn’t as uncommon as it may seem.  Babies can have high blood pressure as a result of a premature birth, or of kidney or heart problems.  Older children with high blood pressure can be a result of family history with high blood pressure.  If someone related to the child has high blood pressure, have your family physician or pediatrician test blood pressure during routine checkups.

Another cause is obesity.  The number of obese children is increasing every year, due to sedentary activities (tv, video and computers.  Children, as mentioned in previous entries should be active for 30-90 minutes a day, depending on the intensity of the activity.  You should become more active as an example to your child, and encourage him to accompany you.  At first, it doesn’t need to be more intensive than a walk around the block.  Then, enroll him or her into some competitive sports that he or she shows interest in.  At the very least, he’ll be meeting other kids his age, at best, he’ll become more self confident as his skill set grows.

Another factor in high blood pressure in children is a poor diet of fast food.  Fast foods are not only high in fats and sugars, they replace more healthy food choices such as fruits and vegetables.  The empty calories in the chips and cola he buys for lunch at his school is replacing that sandwich on wholegrain bread with sliced grilled chicken breast with that lovely bit of lettuce.

The time to start is now.  The younger your child is when you start, the more likely your child is to think it quite natural to choose an apple over an apple turnover.  Some things to try are:

1.    Limit sodium and salt intake.  Use spices, herbs and pepper instead.
2.    Have fresh fruits and vegetables available for snacking.  Early introduction of fruits and vegetables will ensure your child will continue to eat them as they get older.
3.    Monitor fibre intake.  Children from one to three years of age should have 19 grams of fibre a day.  Children from four to eight years should have 25 grams of fibre a day.  Girls from nine to thirteen years should have 26 grams of fibre, and boys, 31 grams.  Girls fourteen to eighteen should have 29 grams, boys 38 grams.  Adults should consume 14 grams per thousand calories consumed.  If this seems confusing, don’t worry too much about it, but be aware that you should choose breads and cereals with whole grains.
4.    Watch the fat intake.  Young babies need some fat for good development, but should get it from a healthy source, such as fish and whole milk when appropriate (your family physician or pediatrician will tell you when best to introduce certain foods for the health of your infant).
5.    Talk to your teenager about smoking and drinking.  Both of these contribute to high blood pressure.  Knowing the danger of these will help your child make a responsible decision to abstain from tobacco and alcohol use.

Blood pressure will increase with age, but these tips, barring a family history of high blood pressure, should keep you and your child from suffering from high blood pressure until a ripe old age.

Posted on May 30th, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: child obesity | No Comments »

Bad Habits

Kids and Bad Habits

Kids go through periods of having bad habits.  Some of their bad habits are worrisome and some are just really annoying.  Parents agonize over what to do about their children’s unacceptable behaviors.  There are a few things they should know.

1.  What you see as bad habits may actually be natural stages of child development.  If your very young child is examining the lint between his toes regularly, you might think it is a bad habit.  It might be, though, that the child simply finds toe lint interesting.  The child will outgrow the fascination and the bad habit will disappear.

2.  So-called bad habits may be ways for the child to soothe themselves.  At times when they would ordinarily feel like screaming and crying, they may suck on their clothes instead.  This makes them feel calm and secure.

3.  Children may use bad habits to feel a sense of control over their environment.  If they are dropped off at a daycare center for the first time, they may start having odd behaviors.  This could be, for instance, rubbing the material of their clothing.  As time goes by, if the daycare center continues to feel threatening to them, rubbing the clothing material could become a bad habit.

4.  Kids sometimes do things adults see as bad habits that they do not understand.  Sometimes, the kids are simply solving a problem.  If their hands are cold, they may put them between their legs to warm them up.  Adults often misinterpret this and overreact.  If they knew the problem was cold hands, they might have a different solution to offer.

5. Shaming and punishment are the worst things you can do.  If a child is doing the bad habits in an effort to soothe herself, making her feel bad is counterproductive.  It will give her more to self-soothe about.  This is why parents often become frustrated when trying to deal with a child’s bad habits.

6.  Substituting more pleasant behaviors for the annoying or destructive bad habits can work better.  You can teach your child to be aware of when they are doing a bad habit.  Then, you can teach them another behavior to do instead.  When they do, reward them.

7.  Incentives work to help some older children get over bad habits.  This is especially true if they are old enough to think in the long term of at least a few weeks.  You can offer them a reward every day that they do not do their bad habits.  By the time they have quit, they will have a large reward waiting.

8.  Usually, the best thing you can do is to wait for the bad habits to go away all on their own.  As long as you do not reinforce the bad habits by doing them yourself, the kids should grow out of them.  Once they get older, their school mates will make it more attractive to them to stop doing their bad habits.  Kids like to fit in.

The most important thing to remember about your child’s bad habits is that you should not be too alarmed.  Only when they are destructive or dangerous is it essential for you to stop them immediately.  Otherwise, be understanding and gentle when dealing with your kid’s bad habits.

Posted on May 29th, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: bad habits | No Comments »

Why you should get your child active.

The fact is, schools everywhere are struggling with an adequate physical education program that involves all the students, and keeps them active enough for long enough to make a difference.  The Canadian Pediatric Society recommends that children over 2 years of age get 90 minutes of physical activity every day.  The benefits of this much activity definitely outweigh the inconvenience of making it happen.

We all know that increased activity will result in increased life expectancy, and a decreased risk of cardiovascular disease.  But there’s a lot more than that.  We live in an age that us parents may well live to bury our children to obesity related illnesses, such as Type II diabetes mellitus.  That’s a scary fact.  Physical activity will keep all of our children healthy longer, and that’s what we all want.  Activity will

-reduce stress on weight bearing joints,

-control weight,

-reduce blood pressure,

-raise HDL (’good’) cholesterol,  as well as

-improve psychological well-being, self-confidence and self-esteem.

The best way to get your child (of any weight range) active is to become active yourself.  We aren’t talking the Boston Marathon, just walking around your neighbourhood with your kids and the dog.  Other activities that can be done from home such as bicycle riding, walking, dancing to music, outside games are great too. (Supervised, depending on the age of the child and your neighbourhood).   Consider getting the child to walk either to or from school on nice days if this is safe and not too far.

Limiting sedentary activities is crucial too.  Television viewing and computer or video games should be limited to 1 or 2 hours a day.  A television set in the child’s room is also not recommended, as the child could watch a lot more tv than is generally good for him.

Posted on April 15th, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: child obesity | No Comments »

Is Your Child Obese?

That’s really the first question to ask yourself. Many children gain significant amounts of weight in preparation for a growth spurt. Others simply carry more weight because of genetics. While your child may be sporting what looks like a few extra pounds, the key is not to panic. If your child is eating healthy foods and is active, there is likely little cause for concern. Extra pounds that stay with the child throughout his/her childhood aren’t necessarily a problem.

Children who aren’t thin are often teased at school. Heck, children who are thin are often teased at school. Children often find things to tease other children about. That’s the way of childhood. With magazines and television all showing impossible examples of what is considered the perfect body, even a child with a normal healthy weight can have other children tease him for being a ‘fatass’.

The first step to decide if your child needs help managing his weight is a visit to your doctor.  He will be able to tell if your child is overweight or obese.   He’ll measure height and weight, and use BMI (Body Mass Index) to determine obesity.

Obese, overweight or merely husky, the most important thing for you to do is to love and support them.  They need to know that whatever their body shape, they are still lovable and worthwhile.  If they feel good about themselves, the whole process becomes easier.  If you give them love unreservedly, they don’t have to find their love through food.  The most important thing to teach them is food isn’t love.

Talk to them about their weight issues in a non judgmental way, letting them do most of the talking.  An excellent way to start a discussion is by watching television together, and asking questions about some of the actors.  Show them that skinny isn’t pretty either, if taken to extremes.  Talk about how actors obsess over their weight to an unhealthy extent, when it’s much better to just eat a sensible diet and stay active.

Posted on April 10th, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: child obesity | No Comments »

Mothers Concerned about… anything

Welcome to my blog! In this blog I’ll be talking about topics of concern to most parents, including childhood obesity, schooling, bullying, medical issues, anything else us parents concern ourselves with.

I’ll likely be talking about obesity first, as I’ve studied it most recently, and feel it’s important to a lot of parents and children. Look for a post here in the next couple of days as I organize my material.

Send any comments, I look forward to hearing from you!

Posted on April 9th, 2008 by MaryEllen
Filed under: main | No Comments »